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FAQs. Frequently Asked Questions.

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  • Men’s issues? What are men’s issues?
    Health Disparities between women and men The discrepancy between the amount of understanding and empathy the culture provides to women and that afforded to men. The absence of the Rebuttable Presumption for Joint Custody after divorce in every state as a fundamental principle of antisexism and the Best Interests of Children Disparities in suicide between women and men, girls and boys. Educational disparities between girls and boys The fact that the math/science achievement gap facing girls receives far more attention than the much larger reading/writing gap facing boys. False allegations of gender-based crimes; the mantra of “Believe the Woman” See an aspect of this problem in higher education. Disparities in Parental Leave policies and how they are actually implemented and regulated by employers The still-persistent notion that men are responsible for financing courtship, a practice that establishes bad patterns of expectations about men and money. The male-only Selective Service requirement Disparity in concern about the absence of women in STEM fields and concern about the absence of men in social services and social sciences fields, in which gender diversity would seem much more important than in math, science and engineering. Women’s ability to impose social and sexual sanctions on men, which pose much the same inequities as men’s ability to threaten physical sanctions against women. Concern for negative stereotyping of girls and women, unmatched by social concern for negative stereotyping of boys and men. The intersectionality of sex + gender on marginalized men. Paternity Fraud, depriving men of opportunities to parent their genetic children. Domestic Violence Against Men Disparities in criminal sentencing of men and women. The “free ride” the media give to women and their advocacy. The excessive skepticism the media give to men as we pursue our social change agenda. The subtle and not-so-subtle suggestions to boys that making lots of money is a privilege granted inequitably to males and is, of course, the most wonderful and important thing in life for which all boys and men should feel lucky (and guilty) under pain of being regarded as losers and not being regarded for qualities other than making money — when no woman would tolerate girls being cajoled, controlled and limited ito such a narrow, imbalanced, dessicated view of life. This is a very rough cut. For other items and details, see the Scoreboard.
  • Are you MRAs, Men’s Rights Activists?"
    We are certainly concerned about men’s rights, but our larger interest is in men’s social issues, of which their rights are a part. Our biggest idea of all is that men’s social issues are everyone’s social issues. We’re not MRAs. We’re ICAs — Idea and Communication Athletes — with important points to score.
  • What are your views on feminism?
    Feminism is exactly 50 percent right. Anyone who doesn’t understand that is 100 percent wrong. Few feminists understand it. We are willing to acknowledge that Our-Comeback also is exactly 50 percent right. Its chief virtue is that it puts forward the currrently missing 50 percent and disrupts the notion that all virtue — and only virtue — is to be found in feminism. A healthy game will help the sport discover the two good 50s to put together.
  • How can you say [any currently dominant gender-issues notion] is not true?
    Our-Comeback is not intended for people who ask such questions. Not that you don’t deserve respectful answers, but because we don’t have the resources to engage with you. We devote our limited resources to engaging with people who ask different quesions — questions about why they feel that something is terribly wrong and wrong-headed about the apprehension of power and privilege between the sexes. We want to help them know that they are not the only ones who feel as they feel, that there are legitimate reasons for them to feel as they feel, and to give them hope and methods for effecting the cultural change that would help them not to feel hopeless or angry or as if they are going crazy. You might find that the following work-in-progress intended for journalists is of some help to you. Center for Journalism on Male Gender Issues
  • This is misogyny!
    No, the Female Shadow's favorite word is "misogyny." This is misterogyny. See the definition and the video.
  • Are women eligible for the team?
    Yes, of course. Who understands the aggressively. offensively defensive strategies and tactics of the other team better than a person who was raised to play for it? In fact, women have been part of Our Comeback since long before the team formally existed. Moreover, Our-Comeback does not discriminate on the basis of sex, gender, sexual preference, race, religion, ethnicity or favorite sport. What we seek in players and coaches is a commitment to change the narrative and make the game robust, competitive and salubrious. Not just robust, competitive and salubrious again, but more robust, competitive and salubrious than it’s ever been.
  • Who’s the Coach?
    The Coach is Jack Kammer, MSW, MBA. He is a white male, born in Baltimore in 1951. He objects to the term “Stale, Pale and Male” often used by supposed diversity activists to sweepingly disparage his demographic and render it irrelevant at best, antithetical at worst, to the creation of a healthy, balanced, inclusive society. When Jack was a young boy he loved babies. He still loves babies. But he often heard the left-handed compliment that closely paralleled the one heard by girls who were good at sports or math. What Jack heard was “You’re really good with babies… for a boy.” He understood intuitively that the real message was that boys weren’t really good with babies, certainly not as good as girls, that he wasn’t supposed to be good with babies, and that babies were solidly and squarely in female territory. But Jack didn’t let that stop him. And he never forgot that first brush with sexism. He grew to see clearly how sexism limits boys and men in the pursuit of their happiness and fulfillment. From 1983 to 1989, Jack produced and hosted a weekly public radio talk radio show in Baltimore called “In a Man’s Shoes” to examine gender issues from a male point of view. In 1994, Jack published Good Will Toward Men (New York: St. Martin’s Press), a book of interviews with twenty-two accomplished women, most of whom identified as feminists, who wanted to talk not just about women’s disadvantages as women and men’s advantages as men, but also to the missing piece in the sexism puzzle: women’s advantages as women and men’s disadvantages as men. The book was smothered by The Lace Curtain and did not sell well. Jack responded a little testily with in 1999. In 2005, convinced of how vitally important it is to fully consider the progressive male perspective on social issues, Jack left his job as an I.T. analyst and trainer in Washington DC and went back to school in a dual-Masters MSW/MBA program at the University of Maryland. His field work was in a community agency in Baltimore’s inner city and at Goodwill Industries in downtown Baltimore. After graduation, wanting to focus not on the men in the Fortune 500, but on those in the Misfortune 5,000,000, Jack worked for a year as a Correctional Officer (AKA “jail guard”) at the infamous Baltimore City Detention Center, and then another year as a Parole & Probation agent in central Baltimore. He next served for a year as a trainer and consultant for National Fatherhood Initiative (NFI) where he trained the staffs of social service agencies and corrections departments in running NFI’s programs for fathers. Jack was a presenter at the two National Conferences on Social Work With and For Men in 2008 and 2009. In 2012 he was named Outstanding Recent Graduate by his social work alma mater. In 2013, Jack, at the age of 62, was married for the first time. He is happily the husband of a prominent genome scientist.
  • What are the video specifications Our-Comeback prefers for videos submitted to Comedy, Music, Poetry Slams and Town Halls?"
    If you’re not technical, don’t sweat it. Just send what you have and we’ll figure it out. If you know your way around video encoding, here’s what would be best. Optimal resolution is 1920 x 1080 also known as 1080p; this is a 16:9 aspect ratio. Maximum file size: 150 MB (153,600 KB)
  • For the Mac Screen Savor, how do I know which version of Mac OS I have?"
    Please view this video. If you need help after that, please send a question through the Contact link at the bottom of any page.
  • I need help installing the Mac Screen Savor.
    Please view this video. If you need help after that, please send a question through the Contact link at the bottom of any page.
  • I need help with the Windows PC Screen Savor.
    Please view this video. If you need help after that, please send a question through the Contact link at the bottom of any page.
  • My Safari browser says your forms are Not Secure!
    Please see Note that when you visit your browser will indeed show the lock icon.
  • My computer runs slow when I’m on Our-Comeback. What can I do?
    Our-Comeback is graphic- and video-intensive. You might need to clear your browser, even clear it frequently. If you’re on a Windows PC, here are instructions on clearing the cache in Chrome Firefox Edge Internet Explorer 11 Opera If you’re on a Mac, here are instructions on clearing the cache in Chrome Firefox Safari Opera If you’re not sure what browser you’re using, go here and click the "Detect my Browser" button. This information is current as of late 2019. If you find it needs an update, please let us know through Our-Comeback Contact.
  • How do I Log In as a Player on mobile?
    The Log In option is called “Players Check-in.” It is the top item in the mobile site menu. Touch the rectangle enclosing three horizontal lines in the upper right of the screen to see the “Players Check-in” option. Touch the Players Check-in option to go to the Log In screen.
  • How do I Sign up as a Player on mobile?
    Sign up is an option on the “Players Check-in” screen. “Players Check-in” is the top item in the mobile site menu. To access the menu, touch the rectangle enclosing three horizontal lines in the upper right of the screen. “Players Check-in” is the first item in the menu; select it. Near the top of the next screen under the words “Log In” you will see a link to the Sign Up option.
  • [Placeholder for any journalistically appropriate skeptical question]
    You may find this work-in-progress intended for journalists to be of some help: Center for Journalism on Male Gender Issues
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